Dr. Abigail Leigh Phillips

Tag: librarianship

  • Why, no. I am not exactly resilient. That word is weird/conflicted. I’ll survive anyway.

    Why, no. I am not exactly resilient. That word is weird/conflicted. I’ll survive anyway.

    I’ve seen the words ‘resilient’, ‘resilience’, and ‘resiliency’ pop up again and again in conference presentations, scholarly papers, speeches, book titles, and within my professional community and others. It has become a highly praised attribute in the work force. From librarians (right now, during the pandemic) to students deal with also pandemic but also school stressors and anxieties. We are resilient or encouraged to be. To “bounce back” with speed. To work past it quickly and efficiently. Well, I can’t do that.

    Recovering from a trauma situation is a long process. In my experience anyway, but the words and phrases “quickly” and sayings “bounce back” and “suck it up” are repeated so often in what feels like almost every conceivable avenue. I keep wondering, why? Why isn’t recovery, growth, failure, and struggle also acknowledged and praised as strongly? Most importantly the last two.

    I couldn’t resist a bouncy castle/house image in this post. Courtesy of KXXV 25 News.

    I have never thought of myself as resilient especially now that I know what the expectations of “resiliency” actually are. I went to dictionaries. I love a definition. From Oxford English Dictionary (OED), resilient is “(adj.)….tending to recover quickly or easily from misfortune, shock, illness, or the like; buoyant, irrepressible; adaptable, robust, hardy..” (para. 3). Merriam Webster (2020, para. 1) (adj.)…describes the word similarly, “capable of withstanding shock without permanent deformation or ruptur; tending to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change”.

    I don’t know what to say about those definitions in general, but they are not me or anything I am capable doing of today or ever in recent memory. The resilient brings to mind someone strong. Someone who doesn’t take the often just plain awfulness of life too seriously. Someone who moves through life in stride. Maybe a bump or two, but gets back up and gets going.

    I do not believe that I am a ‘resilient person’ as I’ve read so often. Or I don’t think I am judging by the definitions and what has been written about resiliency (Scott, 2020). The School of Continuing Education in the university where I work is hosting an “Emotional Resiliency in Uncertain Times” workshop. (As a side note, I feel like most of my time is uncertain. Today, tomorrow, and on are more than a bit mysterious, as far as WTF I will feel or think or worry or cry about.). When I first read about this workshop, my gut instinct erupted as a question: “what’s wrong with being emotional when the world is on fire and dramatically spiraling downward or at least uncertain?” Answer: nothing.

    I’m still trying to understand the different terminology when it comes to resilience/resilient/resiliency. Each means something slightly different for the individual or at least from what I understand from the marginally varying definitions. For some reason, the word ‘resilient’ almost feels like a slap in the face, usually because the words “be” or ” I am” often come before it. The mildly aggressive attitude that I feel radiate from these statements does nothing to shake my unease with this label.

    Courtesy of Center for Creative Leadership

    I worked on this blog post for several weeks sporadically between other projects. I didn’t know how or when to end it. But then I found this image, and I thought, “I can do this.”. I’m sure that this graphic rings much truer for others than it does for me. But nothing about it does for me.

    The most striking is Number Three: find a substitute for sleep. As someone who has suffered from chronic insomnia as long as I can remember, there is no substitute for sleep. If I knew a substitute for sleep, I would have found it over 20 years ago. Who knew it had SO MUCH to do which resilience. Further evidence of my constant struggle with resilience. It’s just not wired into my brain because sleep. Also, positive thinking irritates the fuck out of me. This post now sounds more about what irritates me than actual substance, but at least I acknowledge that.

    Thank you and take care, my friend.

    References

    N.A. (2012). Building your resilience. American Psychological Association. https://www.apa.org/topics/resilience.

    N.A. (2020). Resilient, adjective. Merriam Webster Dictionary. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/resilient.

    OED Online. (2020). Resilient, adj. and n. Oxford University Press. https://www-oed-com.ezproxy.lib.uwm.edu/view/Entry/163621?redirectedFrom=resilient&

    Scott, E. 28 April 2020. Why emotional resilience Is a trait you can develop. Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/emotional-resilience-is-a-trait-you-can-develop-3145235.

  • How I’m Dealing With Burnout and My Progress So Far

    How I’m Dealing With Burnout and My Progress So Far

    I’m in the home stretch of my dissertation (and that is the lone sports reference you’ll find in this blog). Currently, I working on the final chapter of my dissertation and set to defend in early February. Of course I’m also juggling writing job applications for faculty and librarian positions and teaching undergrads. How am I coping so far, you ask? As well as I expected to be honest. After receiving some words of wisdom from a friend and current faculty member in Illinois, I focusing more on my dissertation and less on the job hunt. My dissertation is, after all, my number one task this school year. My undergraduates students have been surprisingly understanding when I gently explain to them that the grades for their assignments may a bit late because I am simply too overwhelmed by everything. One person can only handle so much. I know my limits. Well, now I do after lots of hits and misses along the way.

    However, despite this shift in focus, I am still suffering from burnout. I think that it is critical that we are all honest when we experience spells of burnout, depression, anxiety, panic, and frustration. I’m sure we all suffer from these feeling. Maybe in varying degrees but we all do. This blog has been one source of relief from burnout. Even sometimes when I don’t actually write a post, simply constructing a free-form written post in my mind is helpful and somehow relaxing. The other ways I’ve been coping with burnout are not really surprising (if you know me) running, yoga, weight lifting, pleasure reading, and therapy. Something I try to do each day is do one thing that brings me joy. It can be something as simple as going to a bookstore or getting a pedicure. But one thing that makes me happy and takes my mind off of my work and burnout. All this thinking and talking about burnout and stress has made me curious about how others manage (and how well). It’s not an easy thing to do. Avoidance is one path but that path eventually leads to something much darker such as a breakdown, quitting a job, or being fired from a job. Below, I’ve included a short list of some helpful sites about burnout, self-care, and such. Self-care is so important but often overlooked or seen as an indulgence. Making sure you are happy and physically and mentally healthy is not an indulgence.

    Helpful sites on burnout and such:

    LifeHacker’s Burnout and How to Deal With It

    Preventing Burnout: Signs, Symptoms, Causes, and Coping Strategies

    Job Burnout: How to Spot It and Take Action

    Refueling Your Engine: Strategies to Reduce Stress and Avoid Anxiety

    45 Simple Self-Care Practices for a Healthy, Mind, Body, and Soul

    The Internet Wants to Help You Take Care of Yourself

    What do you do when you suffer from burnout? Any helpful tips or suggestions?

  • Twitter & Librarianship

    Recently, I’ve found myself reflecting on how librarians use Twitter as a source for professional development, encouragement, and support. (I’ve discovered that everything become researchable once you begin a doctoral program.) For me, Twitter is a professional tool. I use it to solely as a way to engage with librarians, libraries, researchers, and colleagues. I’ve only been actively engaged with Twitter for just over one year. During this time, I’ve participated in librarian related discussions, such as #libchat, and watched library trends rise and fall. I feel more connected to libraries and librarians through my Twitter use even though I’m not currently working in libraries. Unlike Facebook, which I consider my “personal” social media profile, there’s a strong sense of community among librarians and libraries on Twitter. A similar sense of community exists on Tumblr, FriendFeed, and to a lesser extent, Facebook (at least for me). I’m sure there are more examples of librarian communities on social media, but I can only be engaged so much.

    The librarian community looks slightly different on each social media platform depending on the users, capabilities of the platform, and how engaged its users are. I’m addicted (in a professional way) to Twitter. The conversations on Twitter move quickly, are more focused (perhaps because of the character limitations), and encourage participation outside of a narrow set of users. It feels as though users are engaged in real time, dynamic discussions within a group of people. I’ve experienced this in a limited way on Facebook as part of the ALA Think Tank group. Yet, for me, Facebook is more exclusive and geared towards drop-in discussions (I’m thinking of discussion boards). This isn’t a  critique of Facebook, but just an observation and something to reflect on.

    I’ve become fascinated with the controversies, uproars, and hypes that can spring up on Twitter. If you are part of a community or network for a decent amount of time, you can watch these events rise and fall from beginning to end. Last Thursday, Rainie (2014) from the Pew Research Center discussed the six types of Twitter conversations. This report inspired me to think about how the trends, hypes, controversies, etc. could be classified in the librarian Twitter community or even if they could fall neatly into one type. I’ve spent some time attempting to figure out where the conversations within this community would fit best. My guess is ‘tight crowds’, especially during conferences and other organized events. But then again, when disagreements occur within the librarian community, could this conversation be considered ‘divided’. Are these conversation categories all or nothing? Can a community shift from one to another or balance between two types? What type of Twitter conversation is missing from this list (if any)?

    References

    Rainie, L. (2014, March 20). The six types of Twitter conversations. Pew Research Center. Retrieved from http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2014/02/20/the-six-types-of-twitter-conversations/.