Dr. Abigail Leigh Phillips

Tag: coping

  • Learning about work-life balance

    Learning about work-life balance

    During April and May I had a mad rush of graduating, then turning right around and teaching a six weeks undergraduate course about social media management. But for the past two months I’ve been trying to do some self-care. In case you haven’t noticed from several other of my posts, the doctoral process is majorly intense. Especially that final year of dissertating. I didn’t have a solid approach to balancing my work life and my personal life. So, I’ve been adventuring into this idea of free time and self-care. This means I stepped away from my dissertation and other projects for awhile. I didn’t stress about immediately turning my finished dissertation into journal articles. I didn’t even stress much about job searching. I tried to move a bit away from the idea of myself as solely an academic. Instead, I thought of myself as someone who has the ability and freedom to relax and de-stress.

    So…what have I been doing? First, Blogging. I’ve been cheating on this blog with other blogs. Writing on a personal level through blogging has been a welcomed relief after so much academic writing over the past few years. I’ve been posting on the YALSA blog; and I co-authored a post on the Commons blog with Laura-Edythe Coleman, Ph.D. We discussed how empathy is shown (or not shown) within museums and libraries.

    I wrote a post for the YALSA blog about the YALSA’s learning agenda which is part of the division’s new strategic plan. Learn more about the agenda and the plan itself right here! Then, I wrote another post on the YALSA blog about networking, more specifically while attending ALA conferences. You can check it out here.

    Second, exploring all the wonderful beaches and cold springs of North Florida. Since moving to Florida, I’ve spent so little time wandering around Florida. It’s a (maybe surprisingly to some) beautiful state. So many parks, beaches, trails, and springs. Finally, I’ve been reading for fun. Without feeling guilty about it (at least no too much). I spent the entire doctoral program avoiding reading for fun. I always felt like I should be working instead. That’s a silly thought. Working 80 hour weeks will not be in my future if I can help it. There’s a lot more to life than work even though academia may tell you otherwise. By blogging, goofing, and reading, I’ve been able to momentarily find my own approach to work-life balance. I don’t know how long I’ll be able to keep it up, but in the meantime it’s keeping me happy and sane.

    In sudden and unexpected news, I’ve accepted a post-doctoral fellowship at Utah State University in the Instructional Technologies and Learning Sciences department. Over the next two years, I’ll learn a lot about the unfamiliar field of Learning Sciences. I’ll also be working on a fun and interesting IMLS grant focusing on small, rural school and public libraries and Makerspaces. In about a month I’ll be moving cross-country with a cat. This should be interesting and/or terrible.

  • Not Sure Where to Go From Here…

    Not Sure Where to Go From Here…

    On April 30, 2016, I graduated with my Ph.D. in Information Studies from the School of Information at Florida State University. What a confusing series of emotions I went through on that day – from anger, sadness, happiness, and dread. It has taken me several weeks to process what “graduating” REALLY means and what it means for me. After being a doctoral student for four years, a Master’s and Specialist student for four, and an undergrad for four, I’m not sure what a school-free life should be like. Should I have more time to do non-school related stuff? How do I do that without feeling guilty that I’m not working on schoolwork? Should I be working overtime to turn all my dissertation work into more publications, conference proposals, and posters? Unfortunately, I’m very tired right now. It’s challenging to find the motivation to do any work, if I’m honest. I don’t know if this is the norm or depression or what, but I’m feel drained thinking about my dissertation. The last thing I want to do is revisit it. At least right now.

    I doesn’t help that everything is in limbo as far as my job search is concerned. I have a few possible post-docs, nothing faculty tenure track, and nothing from the professional librarian world. In many ways, I still feel my Ph.D. does me a disservice in searching for librarian positions whether academic or public. Maybe I’ve super educated myself to the point where people assume I’m overqualified for so many jobs. I’ve written about this in a post for Letters to a Young Librarian awhile back. And I still have many of the same concerns. Will library directors assume when they look at my resume that I will demand more money because of my Ph.D.? ( Not the case.) Will they overlook me because they’re concerned I’ll become bored in the job and quit after a year or two? (Doubtful.) I’m still wondering over these questions. Still haven’t had heard much back from the academic and public library jobs I’ve applied to since defending my dissertation. The LIS faculty job market is so bleak right now (particularly in my area of research) that I’ve almost entirely given up on that path.

    The library job market is tight right now. At least that’s the impression I get. So much competition, and so many older librarians not retiring. Remember back in 2006 (when I was a very eager MLIS student) when all the librarians I knew kept saying that there would be lots of opening for new librarians coming soon? That there would be a wave of librarians retiring once I graduated. And then the recession hit and that didn’t turn out to be the case.

    I also keep asking myself would I be happy working back in the library. I think I would. I love research, but I have enough confidence in myself to know that I can find some way to incorporate research into my potential return to professional librarian life. I do very, very much miss working in the library, especially with teens. I’ve probably mentioned this a few times on this blog. Social media has played a hand in making me miss the library. Reading tweets, tumbles, and Facebook updates has made me more than a little jealous of those who are actually practicing in the library work. This work has its own share of issues, frustrations, and upsets, but I believe that I was contributing to something and really helping people.

    I’m also unsure what direction this blog should take. Now that I’ve slugging my way through a Ph.D., what should be the focus of my blog? Since I started it as a doctoral student, my posts have been about academia, research, presenting, and my struggles to overcome my insecurities as an academic. I think I would like to talk more about libraries, librarianship, and all the interesting and confusing aspects of our field. That would give me a whole bunch of stuff I could rant/talk about!

    Side note: I STILL don’t know what to say to people who ask me if they should go for a Ph.D. Or if it was all worth it. So far my response is, “Ummm.”Ask me again in a couple of years.

  • How I’m Dealing With Burnout and My Progress So Far

    How I’m Dealing With Burnout and My Progress So Far

    I’m in the home stretch of my dissertation (and that is the lone sports reference you’ll find in this blog). Currently, I working on the final chapter of my dissertation and set to defend in early February. Of course I’m also juggling writing job applications for faculty and librarian positions and teaching undergrads. How am I coping so far, you ask? As well as I expected to be honest. After receiving some words of wisdom from a friend and current faculty member in Illinois, I focusing more on my dissertation and less on the job hunt. My dissertation is, after all, my number one task this school year. My undergraduates students have been surprisingly understanding when I gently explain to them that the grades for their assignments may a bit late because I am simply too overwhelmed by everything. One person can only handle so much. I know my limits. Well, now I do after lots of hits and misses along the way.

    However, despite this shift in focus, I am still suffering from burnout. I think that it is critical that we are all honest when we experience spells of burnout, depression, anxiety, panic, and frustration. I’m sure we all suffer from these feeling. Maybe in varying degrees but we all do. This blog has been one source of relief from burnout. Even sometimes when I don’t actually write a post, simply constructing a free-form written post in my mind is helpful and somehow relaxing. The other ways I’ve been coping with burnout are not really surprising (if you know me) running, yoga, weight lifting, pleasure reading, and therapy. Something I try to do each day is do one thing that brings me joy. It can be something as simple as going to a bookstore or getting a pedicure. But one thing that makes me happy and takes my mind off of my work and burnout. All this thinking and talking about burnout and stress has made me curious about how others manage (and how well). It’s not an easy thing to do. Avoidance is one path but that path eventually leads to something much darker such as a breakdown, quitting a job, or being fired from a job. Below, I’ve included a short list of some helpful sites about burnout, self-care, and such. Self-care is so important but often overlooked or seen as an indulgence. Making sure you are happy and physically and mentally healthy is not an indulgence.

    Helpful sites on burnout and such:

    LifeHacker’s Burnout and How to Deal With It

    Preventing Burnout: Signs, Symptoms, Causes, and Coping Strategies

    Job Burnout: How to Spot It and Take Action

    Refueling Your Engine: Strategies to Reduce Stress and Avoid Anxiety

    45 Simple Self-Care Practices for a Healthy, Mind, Body, and Soul

    The Internet Wants to Help You Take Care of Yourself

    What do you do when you suffer from burnout? Any helpful tips or suggestions?

  • “I Can’t Write.”: Lies I Tell Myself Sometimes

    “I Can’t Write.”: Lies I Tell Myself Sometimes

    I struggled with my writing this semester. This is a confusing and (sort of) funny announcement when I look back at last month’s post about my success in publishing. What began with unexpected criticism about my writing in late August spiraled into several months of self-doubt and negative thinking. At one point it became so bad that I considered dropping out of the doctoral program; something I haven’t thought about since my first year. Whenever I would sit down to write, self-defeating thoughts would swarm in my head. Thoughts like, “This is terrible.”,”What will so-and-so say about this?”, “You’re not smart enough.” These thoughts would cripple me. I couldn’t write more than a paragraph before re-reading, editing, reediting, and finally deleting everything.

    I know I can write. I’m a good writer, and I work hard. I’ve been published in three (soon-to-be four) peer-reviewed academic journals. But there’s a difference between knowing I can write and believing I can write. So, how did I overcome this fear of writing and actually write? (I’m still battling this fear. This will probably be something I struggled with for as long as I write.)

    My only answer has been to keep writing. I’ve stuck to a writing schedule that I started during my first year. It’s a very simple schedule — I write every day. EVERY DAY. I always have a goal for each writing day, usually beginning, working on, or finishing a section of something. Some days I writing a lot, some day just a bit. And this summer I began writing with a group of friends (who are also LIS doc students). Our informal writing group meets regularly at coffee shops to write together, talk about our work, and provide a “you can do it!” when needed. I like working and talking with people who enjoy what they do. It’s good for my mental health and my writing. Dissertation work can be a lonely experience.

    Another approach I use is not worrying so much about what I write in that first draft. The sentences and paragraphs I write don’t need to be astonishingly brilliant, perfect, or mind-blowing. It’s just a draft, only for me. There will be plenty of time for edits, pondering, advice, and rewrites. In this moment, the words I write isn’t for anyone else but me. It doesn’t matter what someone else will think, recommend, or question. That will matter latter, but even then I’m writing mainly for myself.

    Writing is hard. It’s always been hard for me. But there’s something wonderful about the process of writing — from that first blank page to the published piece. It’s a lovely experience to see your writing evolve and become stronger because of (or sometimes in spite of) challenges. I think it’s worth it.

    Happy New Year! Here’s to a happy and productive 2015!

    What are you looking forward to in 2015?

    How do you deal with writing (or other) struggles?